Never Say Goodbye
by inkwriter822
Summary: Oneshot. What happens after Carly leaves. What changes and what does the future hold. Just something wrote inspired by iGoodbye. Did you cry? I totally did. Is this a little corny? Maybe? Will you like it? Click and see for yourself! Please and thank you! :)


**Hi everyone. I don't write stories very often; but of course iGoodbye inspired me to write this. And as for a Creddie/Seddie ending; I think it was sort of a tie. But I don't think we've seen the last of Freddie. Who knows, maybe a few years from now, when we're watching the Sam & Cat finale, it'll be Sam reuniting with Freddie or something. But theres plenty of great things I'm guessing in store for Sam…I can't wait to see what happens. Anyway, I didn't expect myself to cry, but I did, and while I loved the ending for this amazing show, I couldn't help but wonder what would become of everyone. So this is what I wrote. Please excuse any mistakes…I wrote this pretty much immediately after watching iGoodbye. So please enjoy this quick little oneshot. **

It was the strangest feeling, walking into the Shay's residence, knowing that Carly wouldn't be there. I felt like life had changed, had made a complete 180, in one night. I know I was being a good friend by telling Carly she should go, but life is going to be so different now.

I opened the door to their, or I guess just Spencer's, apartment. It was quiet; I guessed Spencer was still asleep. I walked towards the couch- I felt so disoriented. What now? Would Freddie, Gibby, and I still be friends? Was Carly the glue that kept us together? Would we all still hang out at Carly's? Who knew?

I sat on the couch, unsure of what to do. Maybe, maybe I should leave. Not just leave the Shay's, but leave this whole city. I'd be graduating very soon…I could leave, now that I have my motorcycle. Or I could stay, maybe find my own place. But what would I do? iCarly was always my thing…what am I going to do now?

"Sam?" I turned around on the couch to see a sleepy Spencer in his pajamas, rubbing his eyes. "You're here early."

I smiled somberly. "When am I not?" I noticed the expression on his face and could tell we were both thinking the same thing.

He sat down next to me, casually. I could tell he wanted to say what we were both thinking. "Well, I wasn't sure I'd be seeing you around, you know, now that Carly's gone. But, I'm glad you're here."

I smiled, genuinely. "Can't get rid of me _that_ easily." I punched his arm lightly. He looked hesitant, but grateful. I felt sorry for him the most. I loved Carly too, but Spencer had devoted part of his life to taking care of her. She was his sister. What would _he_ do now?

"Speaking of which, I was thinking….you're going to be graduating soon, and now that there's an extra room available….Well, I just wanted to let you know that you could always stay here if you wanted to. Permanently or not."

I was almost shocked at his suggestion. I mean, I was there all the time anyway, and Spencer was like a brother to me. But I had never expected this offer.

"Wow Spencer…that's very kind of you. I'll think about it."

"Well, you know…it's gonna be kinda lonely around here and I could always use the extra company. You're like my second sister, and just know that I care a lot about you. I just want to make sure you don't leave to quickly now that Carly is gone." I noticed his eyes seemed a bit teary. Then I noticed my own eyes were starting to well up.

"Don't worry Spencer, I'm not leaving yet."

There was a moment of silence when we just looked at each other, both missing Carly, sharing the void we both felt. Then, he hugged me silently, got up, and went to his room without another word.

I sat there blankly for what seemed like many minutes, before suddenly, it all came out. Tear after tear, I sobbed for such a long time, unsure of when it would stop. I'm not sure the last time I had ever cried this hard. I was glad to be alone, yet I felt lonely at the same time, and I wanted someone to tell me that everything would be alright.

And then Freddie walks in.

I looked up at him; he was wearing his usual button down with jeans, his hair a little messier than usual.

I realized I must look disgusting. I had been sobbing into my hands, so now my sleeves were all tear stained and snotty. I was an ugly crier; I definitely had red, splotchy eyes.

I tried to read the expression of Freddie's face as he came over to me. He seemed to have a look of sadness, yet comfort on his face. It was an unusual expression. I didn't have much time to process his facial expression though, as he came over to me, sat on the couch, and pulled my into a tight hug. For a minute my sobs ceased and I was left with my face buried into his shoulder. I breathed in his comforting scent; it was musky yet held an irresistible sweetness. I savored the feeling of his strong arms around me, making me feel secure for a moment.

And then I realized that I didn't want _this_ to end. Carly left, but I wasn't going to let Freddie leave. I had to keep this in my life. And then, I started to sob even louder and uncontrollably into his shoulder. I kept crying as he rubbed his hands in calm, circular motion on my back. I wrapped my own arms around his body, holding on tightly.

We must've stayed life that for ten minutes before I finally calmed down and ran out of tears. I slowly pulled apart and sniffled, rubbed and remaining tears off my eyes, avoiding eye contact with Freddie. I was sure that this was the first time he has ever seen me cry life this. I had a headache from so much crying and the skin around me eyes stung a little.

"I'm sorry…you…had to see me cry…like that." I said in-between sniffles. I finally looked into his eyes and noticed a somewhat amused yet endearing look in them.

"It's okay Sam." He sounded so genuine. "It's actually kinda nice to see you so differently. You know, now that Carly's gone, everything is going to change, you might as well let me in." He said this hesitantly, gently.

I wasn't sure what to say. He was right of course. I can't just act the same way around him that I used to. Carly was gone; she was my security blanket. And not that she's gone, I have to be willing to show a different side of myself and let other people in.

"How are you handling this so well?" I asked Freddie, still a little sniffle left in my voice.

He chuckled a little somberly. "I ran out of tears last night, trust me. But Carly would want us to move on, you know. We'll both miss her, but she'll come back, and in the meantime, I think we should live our lives as best as we can. I mean, we have each other, _right_?" I noticed that Freddie said this last line carefully, with hope twinging in his voice.

I sat there silently for a few seconds, processing what he meant. I had to let myself let other people in. So, I hugged him even tighter than before. "Yeah, we do."

After we let go we let the time pass by in a comfortable silence. We turned on the T.V. and watched a few episodes of Celebrities Under Water as we ate some left over spaghetti tacos. I noticed after a while that Freddie was glancing at me sometimes. He seemed worried, or anxious about something.

"Um, Freddie?" I said after a while. "You okay?"

He groaned in his Freddie-ish way. "I have something I need to tell you."

I furrowed my brows for a second. It was weird being this close to Freddie. I mean, sure we dated and everything. But to be sitting here next to Freddie, knowing that Carly was gone, and now we only really had each other; it was like whatever relationship we had was all the more delicate and deep.

"Okay, shoot."

"Yesterday, before Carly left…"Freddie seemed uneasy. "She kissed me."

Time stopped for just a second. I couldn't really comprehend my emotions in the moment. A wave of sadness, jealousy, anger, forlornness, and curiosity overcame me.

"Um…wow," was all I could say.

"I know…I was quite surprised myself."

"And….well, does this mean she likes you? Did she just kiss you so she could leave for Italy for who knows how long and leave you wondering?" I said with an almost angry tone. But I tried to keep calm.

Freddie seemed thoughtful for a moment. "No. I don't think she liked me, you know, like that. I think she was just saying goodbye. But it was just weird…it was like she was addressing all those emotions I had, such a long time ago."

I didn't say anything for a few minutes. We just sat there in tension and awkward silence before I finally asked, "And did this bring back any of your emotions?"

"Yeah."

I felt my heart sink. Why was I so jealous? Carly was in a different Country. It's not like they _could_ date. But if he liked Carly, that means yesterday when he asked if we wanted to get back together…he didn't mean it. But wait, why am I jealous anyway? Do I still love him? "So, you love her?"

There was another tense moment of silence. "I didn't say that."

My head shot up in confusion. "What do you mean then?"

"Well, when she kissed me, I felt like it resolved a few things. After that time she and I dated all those years ago, I always wondered if I still liked her. And then she kissed me, and I felt…well, nothing."

"Okay? So what _emotions_ were brought up then?"

"The ones I have for you." My heart stopped. "When she kissed me, I didn't feel any spark. And then… I realized it was _nothing_ compared to kissing you. And when I said I loved you, I meant it. And I felt like I've forgotten that…but when she kissed me. It just reminded me how much I love you. I _still_ love you Sam"

I couldn't breathe for a moment. It's like all the pain I felt from Carly leaving vanished for an instant when I heard Freddie tell me that he stilled loved me.

"You, you do?"

"Yes. Look, I know it's kind of a lot to bring onto you right now. But with Carly leaving, I have to make sure that I don't lose you."

I smiled warmly, felling that amazing butterfly feeling in my gut. It all made sense. "I…I love you too," was all I said. And soon, I found myself leaning into him, kissing him deeper than I ever had; with more passion, despair, and hope for the future than ever before.

"So Carly, how's your Italian boyfriend? What's his name? Giorgio or something?" I laughed at the girl on the screen. She seemed so happy as she discussed, in detail, all the things about her newest boyfriend that made her happy.

I was sitting at the counter in Spencer's loft, video-chatting with Carly. Since Carly had left I had pretty much been living in the Shay's loft. I went home from time to time to see mom, but most nights I slept over in Carly's room so I could spend more time with Freddie and Spencer. Gibby came over a lot too and as a group we always chatted with Carly over webcam.

"I can't believe I missed graduation with you guys. I feel like I left just yesterday, but it's been how long? 6 months?" Carly shook her head disbelievingly. "I can't believe you and Freddie have been together for a full 6 months… and _no_ fighting?"

"None of the _bad_ kind. I make sure to let him know who wears the pants in this relationship though, don't worry."

I smiled as Carly laughed behind her screen. "Well, I'm happy for you two. And I'm glad I'm coming home for the summer. I'll be seeing you face to face in a week! I'm _so_ excited!"

"Me too! We're already planning out what we're going to be doing for our first iCarly webcast when you get back. And we have to whole summer for iCarly. And for each other."

We share a smile."I can't wait to see you guys… Tell everyone I said hi… See you in a week!" Carly and I said our goodbyes before signing off.

I got up and walked across the hall to knock on Freddie's door. He opened it and pulled me into a warm kiss. It was weird to think how much our lives have changed in the past 6 months, and to know that they would continue to change in the upcoming months. I saw myself being with Freddie for a long time…And no matter what or who would come into our lives; I would never be ready to truly say Goodbye.


End file.
